Pack Up
by Rawritz
Summary: Yoshiki has been cold to Ayumi since the events at Heavenly Host, and when they're scheduled to clean after class, she's determined to find out why. Ayushiki oneshot.


Ever since Ayumi came back to Kisaragi Academy, she noticed more.

Like the way Satoshi drifted to Naomi — more than initially. She could not have a conversation longer than five minutes without him stealing a glance at her. His eyes lingered on her more. He would brush closer to her more. He would book afternoons with her more.

But remarkably, she had learned to care less.

She placed more focus on her studies, reading anything she could get her hands on — anything that was not related to witchcraft. Her obsession with books became unhealthy. It was an outlet, a distraction from undesirable thoughts.

Whenever she leaned towards those thoughts, it was difficult to back out. Her eyes would lose focus, her breath would quicken. A splitting pain would invade her brain. It was horrendous, and few people knew how to fix it.

Spending enough time with someone like she did with Yoshiki in Heavenly Host Elementary School would guarantee changes. They had to depend on each other to survive. Aside their differences, they were able to connect — both knowing what it was like to suffer rocky relations with their parents. If she didn't have Yoshiki back then... She did not know what would have happened. And just as much as the past, she depended on him now.

However, the Heavenly Host Elementary School experience changed everyone. Naomi became unstable — skipping school, causing scenes. It required all of Satoshi's energy to tend to her needs, all the while supporting Yuka's obligations. He could not handle any more on his plate. That left only Yoshiki for Ayumi to count on, but he was not left unmarred.

She noticed how he secluded himself once more, even slipping back to his delinquent ways. Despite her objections, he engaged in smoking. He started arriving to class late with questionable bruises. On rare occasions, they would exchange a couple words, but he was typically reclusive. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed the old Yoshiki.

"Shinozaki, Kishinuma, you're on pack up today," ordered the teacher.

Ayumi nodded and slowly swallowed. She knew Yoshiki had the tendency to skip these kinds of things, but she hoped he would make an exception. They were 'friends', after all.

When class had finished, students dashed out of the room like wild animals, leaving the two behind. He left his seat and casually walked to the door. "I guess I'll leave you to it."

"Wait," she called out. "Aren't you going to help me?"

He released a sigh, dug his hands into his pockets and returned. "Whatever."

They began placing books into their respectful places. Although it was quiet and slightly awkward, she felt glad that he was there to speed up the process. She knew at heart, Yoshiki was a good person, and chose to believe that the nightmare they spent at Heavenly Host caused him to show less of it. But still, that was no excuse for how cold he treated everyone — especially her, and after all they had been through.

"H-Hey, Kishinuma?"

"Mm?"

She hesitated. "Do you ever… think about it?"

There was a lengthy pause. He realised she was talking about the time at the school and frowned. "No."

"Oh…" She downed the lump in her throat. "I don't mean to be rude, but why are you so… different?"

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned to her. "… How can I stay the same after all the shit we've gone through?"

She scratched her temple, visibly abashed. "I mean… Before that time, we were cl— well, I don't know. You wanted to protect me, I guess. But now, it just seems like you don't even care."

He faced the bookshelf. "You'd much rather Satoshi protect you."

"What? Mochida…" She felt lost for words. "But back in the school—"

"We're not in that godforsaken school anymore!" He interrupted with a tinge of irritation, looking at her sharply. "You need to get over it!"

The lump appeared in her throat again, and this time it was painful, holding her words back. Why was he so mean? She just wanted to return to normal, before they got caught up with the Sachiko charm. She wanted to forget about the deaths of her friends, but it was too hard when there was a blatant reminder of it whenever she saw the obvious differences in her remaining friends. Her cheeks were wet, and so was her chin. Tears dripped off her face, staining the carpet. "You're—You're heartless."

All of a sudden, Yoshiki's face softened, the harshness melting away from his skin. The creases that once appeared between his brows were gone. He realised he went too far; he had done the exact opposite of what he was supposed to. He lightly placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

His hand was warm. She didn't care if he was previously mad at her; the warmth was better than none. She leaned closer to it, letting her tears and hiccups progress out of her control. "I–I miss everyone…"

"Me too." He sighed, and could no longer ignore the ache in his chest. It was unbearable to see her cry, so he let himself wrap his arms around her.

It was the first time she had cried in months, but it was heavily needed. She wondered how Yoshiki would have dealt with his pain. He wasn't the type of guy to cry, as far as she could imagine. More so, he was the kind of person that dealt with his emotions through actions, since he was undoubtedly inexperienced with words. Perhaps all those times when he showed up to class with wounds or bandages, he was actually handling his misery through fighting. She didn't like the idea, but it was plausible. "Kishinuma… Why do you distance yourself so much?"

His grip loosened. "I'd rather not say."

"But it must be so lonely for you!" She wiped her face with her sleeve. "Why wont you speak to me like you used to?"

"I have my reasons." He avoided her gaze.

She tugged on his shirt. "Please, tell me why."

He paused for a moment. "… No."

She held his shirt tighter, gazing up at him with pleading eyes. "Please…"

He looked to the ground for a while, as if he was contemplating his thoughts, before looking back at her with a sad expression on his face. "Because… I love you, Shinozaki, so much that it hurts — and I know you don't feel anything for me."

Her eyes widened, processing what he had just uttered. With all honesty, she hadn't ever thought of him _loving_ her. But… he did, and for how long?

He walked towards the door. "I've finished, so I'll get out of your way..."

"Wait!"

He stopped.

"… How would you know if I didn't feel anything for you?" she asked with a shaky voice.

He turned around, shock evident on his face. "W-Wait, do you like me?"

Her face felt hot as she became aware of the situation. "W-Well… I d-don't know, but I do want to be with you," she said quietly before taking a deep breath, gaining more confidence. "I don't want you to be alone, a-and I liked it much better when we had each other."

Suddenly, he was right in front of her with an indecipherable look in his eyes. He gently tucked loose hair behind her ear and murmured softly enough for her to hear, "So you want to be with me?"

Her heart pounded in her ears. His body was close, and his scent made her chest feel fuzzy. She nodded.

He looked at her in the eyes, deeply — longingly, as if they were having a silent agreement. After a matter of minutes, he tentatively leaned in closer, allowing for any time of objection, cautiously judging her expression for any sign of reluctance, and as he tenderly met his target, he allowed himself to melt into the feel of her soft lips — the lips that were in his dreams, that taunted him each time they spoke. They were sweet, hinting of raspberries. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist.

It felt right; the spark that ignited from their kiss, the heat his figure emitted, and the painfully good feeling of breathlessness in her lungs. She held his shirt in between her fingers like it was the only thing holding her in reality. When they broke apart, she was so overwhelmed with the flurry of emotions in her chest that she grinned. Genuinely. It felt great when he returned it with just as much authenticity.

She hadn't seen Yoshiki smile in such a long time, and she was certain that she was going to keep him smiling for many days to come.


End file.
